Andrew, Shae & KJ

Wacky Momma

2012-01-26T16:04:00.000-08:00

You know how pregnant women say they have "preggo brain." Well let me tell ya, it does NOT go away after the baby leaves your belly. Somehow your brain is tricked into thinking that the baby is still in there or something. I mean...it's been 6 months and I still have preggo brain. I just call it "momma brain" now.

I have done some pretty interesting things since being a mom. I'll just blame it on lack of sleep.

Number 1: When Kayson was a few months old, I was changing his diaper in the middle of the night. I opened up his sleeper, took his legs out, opened up the new diaper, lifted Kayson's legs up, slipped the new diaper under his buttocks, and proceeded to fasten the diaper up. Um...what about the dirty diaper? It was still on his butt, nice and fastened, with a new diaper on top of it. I didn't even take the dirty diaper off. (Don't worry, I fixed my mistake before going back to sleep.)

Number 2: Right now, we are sleep-sharing. Basically it means that instead of just two people sleeping in our queen sized bed, there are three. KJ is still waking up every 2 hours to eat and it is wearing me out. His bassinet is right in our room and sleeps perfectly fine in it. He doesn't NEED to sleep in our bed. I'm just too lazy. I get tired of getting up out of bed, feeding him, and then putting him back in his bassinet. So now I just get him out of his bassinet, give him the 'boob' and go back to sleep while he's eating. So simple. Well...on one particular morning, I forgot to cover up after feeding him. In my sleep, I rolled up onto my stomach. Something cold and wet ended up waking me up. My first thoughts, "Did I pee on myself? Did Kayson pee out his diaper? Did someone puke?" Then, I realized that I had emptied out my entire breast of it's milk. Yeah....

Number 3: When Kayson was taking his nap, I decided to pump some milk for his cereal. I attached the pump and started pumping away. (Yay for the manual pumps that you have to do yourself. It really does make me feel like a cow.) Anywho, while I was pumping I decided to go check on KJ. While I was peeking in, I felt something drop on my foot. I stopped pumping and looked down, but I didn't really see anything. So I started pumping again. And again I felt a drip drap on my foot. I look down again while still pumping and I realize that I had forgotten to attach a bottle to the pump. All of my milk was going straight from my body to the pump to the floor. Ugh.

Yeah...I'm losing my mind. But I'd go insane for my little guy, and his oh so hot father. I mean...that father helped me create this handsome little boy!

UPDATE

2012-01-05T14:19:00.000-08:00

ANDREW

~*graduated from BYU-I in July*~

~*got a job at CIGNA as a personal advocate*~
~*starting in a few weeks, will be teaching Elder's Quorum two times a month*~

SHAE

~*graduated from BYU-I in April*~

~*spends a lot of time on Pinterest*~

~*stay at home mom*~
~*teaches the Miamaids in Young Women's every 2nd, 3rd, and 4th Sunday*~

KAYSON

~*found his feet*~

~*loves his jumperoo*~

~*would rather try to scoot than roll over*~

~*loves brown rice cereal*~

~*feet ticklish*~

~*doesn't really like bottles*~

~*knows what "ready to eat?" means*~

~*tries to put anything and everything into his mouth*~

~*likes to drink water*~

~*can sit up for a minute by himself*~

~*wears 6-18 month socks...for some reason, the 6-12 months don't fit*~

~*loves to be held upside down*~

In December, we moved into a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment. It's a lot bigger than what we had in Rexburg. Kayson has his own room, but it's basically the "catch all" room for now. He sleeps in our room, snuggled up with his mommy. He's fine with sleeping by himself, but it's so much easier for me to just have him beside me. You wouldn't think that it would be that hard to wake up, pick a baby out of his bassinet, feed him, and return him to his bassinet would be that hard, but it is. Especially since it takes him about 10 minutes to eat and he wakes up every 2 hours. Yeah...I'm lazy. And Kayson is just so warm and snuggly!

I'll try and update more often!

A Pooptacular Morning

2011-10-28T08:38:00.000-07:00

Kayson was laying in bed with us this morning. He was cuddled up close to me when he lets out several toots. Then he started getting this relaxed, yet focused look on his face and he started pooping. It was LOUD. I'm surprised it didn't wake Andrew up. Anywho...when I thought he was done, I affectionately said, "Annnddrrewww." And I asked him if he would change KJ's diaper. He said, "Sure." I slid my hand under KJ to pick him up and that's when I felt it. It was slimy, wet, and lukewarm. Yep, I had poop on my hand. This didn't really phase me because, well, I've been pooped on already...several times. When I sat Kayson up, there was poop right on the sheet where he had been laying. Needless to say, Andrew woke right up. I tried to remove Kayson's shirt without getting poop in his hair. "Ew, you got it on his arm," Andrew said.

Kayson has put our sheets through a lot this week. Poop, pee, slobber, and spit-up. But, I think that he's gotten me a lot more times with those four things. And it doesn't even phase me anymore. Oh, the joys of being a mommy.

Kayson's Birth Story: Daddy's Perspective

2011-07-31T12:26:00.000-07:00

Sunday July 24^th began a little unusual. I woke up first at around 9 am, but Shae later awoke at 10 am.(She usually wakes up at 7:30 to 8 am) She was hungry as usual for pregnant women that morning and she was in obvious discomfort but not too severe. We ate breakfast together. I do not remember mine but Shae ate cheese grits. For the next two hours Shae started feeling worse. She felt severe cramping and aches. She sat on her exercise ball and had me roll a tennis ball on her back.

Shae contacted her doula to see what her opinion was of what was going on. The doula gave some advice on relaxing and then Shae made a turn for the worst when she became nauseous. I did not think much of it after the first time Shae threw up. She had done it so many times before but it was the return visits to the toilet and the barf bowl compounded with the phrase from Shae, “I am tasting blood,” started to alarm me enormously. We called the hospital for a nurse in labor and delivery who recommended Shae take a bath and drink cranberry juice. I filled up the tub and called a friend for some juice. In the tub Shae relaxed for a moment. Yet the hot water soon became too cold to Shae to the point I had to refill it again.

Shae also kept drinking water and throwing it back up and that was accompanied with some painful dry heaving. It was at this point I noticed some dried blood in her vomit that prompted another call to the hospital. The nurse recommended that we come and I still had not prepared the hospital bag. I quickly put together the bag and just as I was done the juice arrived too little too late. Shae voiced her frustrations because I was not going fast enough and continued to moan as her pain became a constant wave of agony over her baby inflated stomach.

We left our apartment gingerly going down the stairs to the car at around 12:50 pm. The drive was painful and miserable for Shae as Rexburg has some of the most uneven streets in the country. We showed up and I was driving fast but I did not get a police escort along the way. I parked outside the labor and delivery wing of the hospital and ran inside to get a chair for Shae. I emerged with three nurses but I apparently took too long for Shae. She struggled to get out of the car, no doubt from dehydration but she was quickly taken in and put in bed with an IV. I quickly signed all the papers for admission and rushed to Shae’s side.

The doctor came in with casual clothing on and it was Shae’s least favorite doctor from Madison’s Women Clinic. They hooked her up to monitors and put towels on the floor where Shae continued to vomit. Shae was in such pain that she was blacking out and becoming unresponsive. Inserting the needles became more difficult as Shae had relied on me to fill the doctors in on her activity of the day, what she ate, what she has taken and how it was similar or different from her last visit. Shae continued being agitated but often powerless to speak because of the pain. Even when I pressed her for answers to give to the doctors she would give me the “mean look of death” meaning to leave alone. The doctor could see she was in labor but the extent of the pain he feared the worst of a possible placental abruption.

The doctor tried to find other possibilities for the pain and her reaction to the pain but I assured him that the pain was the result of something else. Some of his farfetched suggestions even included that Shae possibly had taken recreational drugs which caused Shae to dislike him more. However, the point was clear Shae had to be delivered to find the cause of the pain. The doctors told us that if Shae was unable to communicate with them she would be put under for a c-section and I would not be in the operating room something both Shae and I did not want. After some coaxing from me she finally composed herself to give the best answers she could and they then prepared us for an operation. Through the whole experience I worked hard keeping it together because it is the scary feeling that you are incapable to help the ones you love.

I called for the home teachers to come and give a blessing, but unfortunately they could not make it on time. So before entering the operating room I prayed to God to be with my wife and son. I waited for them to open the door, which seemed like very long minutes and then a male nurse opened the door and let me in. I went over to Shae’s side. She was at peace because the doctors had administered the painkillers and nausea medicine. She said she felt much relived of pain and was now anxious about Kayson. I saw the work of the doctors occasionally because one of the doctors had big shoulders that prevented me from seeing the whole procedure. At 3:14 Shae’s water was broken and the doctors proceeded to extract Kayson.

Shae listened attentively for anything and then he was out. Kayson gave little yelping cry as all babies do. That was it; at 3:15pm on July 24^th Kayson Jerome was born. After some brisk cleaning, they brought him to me and Shae for a brief moment. I laid him on the left side of Shae’s chest. He was then taken back by the nurses to get him cleaned all over and check his vitals. The verdict came back that Kayson was a very healthy (especially strong legs and lungs as noted by the doctor) baby boy. He continues to be every much the blessing in our lives who we adore.

Kayson's Birth Story

2011-07-27T22:18:00.000-07:00

I was SO beyond happy when I made it to 37 weeks on July 19th. I was even happier when my doctor took me off of bedrest. It had been a long 4 weeks. I was actually pretty excited about the potential of possibly making it to 40 weeks. Yeah...that didn't happen.

At around 11am Sunday morning, I started feeling cramps. They were different from the contractions that I had been feeling for 4 weeks straight. They were a lot more painful. I was getting them in my stomach and in my back. Nothing I did was stopping them. I wasn't sure if they were signs of labor or not, so I decided to time them and they were lasting about a minute long and they would come every 3-5 minutes. I text my doula and let her know what was going on. She told me to call labor and deliver to see if the maternity nurses thought that I was having contractions. I called up l & d and the nurse told me to try taking a warm bath and drink lots of water and cranberry juice (they thought that maybe a uti was causing the contractions) to see if the contractions would stop. I stayed in the tub for about 15 minutes. Usually, the tub helps ease my pain. Not this time. I was rolling all around that tub. Then, once I got out of the tub, I started throwing up. I would sip some water and then it would come up. It got to a point where I wasn't holding down anything and I was starting to throw up blood. Labor and delivery told me to come on in.

I was in a ton of pain when I got to the hospital. I remember sitting, waiting in the car for Andrew to come back out with the wheelchair. I was about to just walk myself into the labor and delivery unit because I was tired of hurting and they were taking their sweet time. They came out with the wheelchair and the nurse tried talking to me and asking me what hurt. I couldn't really respond well to her and I ended up almost passing out in the parking lot. They somehow managed to get me into the wheelchair and into triage. I got hooked up to a bunch of monitors and from there, things just got back. I kept throwing up over and over. I have no idea how that was happening considering that my stomach was pretty empty and I had only eaten a bowl of grits that morning. I could taste the blood.

The doctors and nurses kept asking me where the pain was coming from and I told them and showed them. Then it got to a point where I would just moan through the pain. I wasn't getting any relief, so I just shut down my mind and stopped responding to the doctors. I do remember the doctor asking Andrew if I was on drugs or if I had taken any drugs that day. (Um....no) The nurses were also asking, "Didn't she respond to pain like this the last time she was here?" Yeah, the last time I was there they gave me medicine that nearly made my heart jump out of my throat. I guess I can kinda relate to what Bella (from Twilight) was going through when she was changing from a human to a vampire. They finally started talking about a c-sections because I was only one centimeter dilated, was having back to back contractions, and in an excruciating amount of pain. They were fearing the worst (like placental abruption). The doctors were telling me that I needed to communicate with the anesthesiologist otherwise they'd put me under and Andrew wouldn't be able to be in the room when Kayson was born. I managed to answer his questions and we got the show on the road.

It was so hard to sit still on the table waiting for the anesthesiologist to do the spinal tap. I was having horrible pain in my stomach and I just wanted to curl up and die. That's how bad it was. One of the nurses let me cuddle against her and I tried not to focus on the pain. The needle to numb my back didn't hurt at all compared to the other pain that I was feeling. The next thing I know the spinal was all done, they had me lay on a table, and they put the blue sheet up. The spinal was AMAZING. (Yeah...I'm not too sure about the whole natural birth thing now...drugs are AWESOME.) I was actually able to joke with the doctors while they were cutting me open. It only took them about five minutes to get Kayson out. It was amazing and surreal to hear his little cry. I didn't get to see him right away, but Andrew got to watch him get weighed and cleaned up. Everything just went by so fast.

Kayson is such a sweet little guy. It made the horrible experience of labor all worth it. He LOVES to eat and cuddle. That's probably my favorite thing about him. He snuggles up to me. The doctors still don't know why I was in so much pain (they didn't find anything wrong with the placenta...and there had to be some reason for me throwing up blood), but they didn't want to chance the little guy's life. I am so grateful for that.

Here are some pictures of the little guy who has stolen my heart.

Kayson Jerome

July 24 @ 3:15pm

7lbs 4oz; 20 1/2 inches long

Bed Rest...

2011-07-05T18:18:00.000-07:00

is one of the hardest things that I've had to do. I'm supposed to stay on the couch/bed all day and only go to the bathroom. I am allowed to get up and get snacks, though. I actually miss being able to get up and clean. It's especially hard since my nesting instinct has kicked in. I'm such an independent person and I've had to depend on people a lot lately. I just want to clean my own darn apartment and cook my own food. My butt is so sore from sitting on the couch all day. It's really hot in this house and so I have the fan on blast. I guess that's one of the joys of living in Rexburg, Idaho where there is no A/C. I really want to go out and take a walk or go see a movie or go swimming. But, I can't. I've been out of the apartment about 4 times since I've been on bed rest for the 11 days. Once was to go to a breastfeeding class...I learned a lot, but I was in so much pain while I was there because the seats were so uncomfortable. The other times were to go to doctor's and WIC appointments. I did go out to watch the fireworks last night. We sat in the car for an hour and a half waiting for the fireworks to start. They never did. We left around 11pm, along with a bunch of other disappointed people.

The thing that keeps me going is my baby boy. I love him so much already. I just want him to be healthy. If that involves me staying at home on the couch all day, then that's what I'm going to do. He's pretty much the only company that I have. I guess it gives us time to bond before he even gets here. It's just harder than I thought it would be. It's funny the things we take for granted. 2 weeks left until I'm full term and 5 weeks until my due date. I just have to make it for 2 more weeks. God, please give me strength.

The Day's Gone By Update from this morning's post

2011-06-27T20:43:00.000-07:00

I'm still sitting here in the hospital, but the day feels like it has gone by pretty darn fast. I got to talk to my doctor this morning and he told me that they'd monitor me today and he'd see me in the morning (when I hopefully get to go home). This is a different doctor than I had yesterday. My favorite doctor is definitely the one that I had yesterday, but I like all three of my doctors. I get along well enough with them. Today's doctor basically told me that he won't be checking me again unless contractions get really bad because he doesn't want something to start that could be prevented. I had the ultrasound today, too, and they said that everything looks great. They still think that there could be some possible bleeding that just isn't showing up on the ultrasound.

After about 12 hours of not being able to eat, I was finally able to get some food and juice! They brought me in some french toast and a bowl full of fruit. Of course I shared with my hubby. He deserves it as much as I do. And I wanted to make sure that he keeps up on his energy. I also got to take a take a nice long shower. I have never been so grateful for a shower. I just felt so icky from not showering for 15 hours. And I had sweated a ton last night. Before I got in the shower, I got my catheter taken out! Relief! Well...at first, there was pain and THEN there was relief. Those things aren't the most comfortable. It did make it nice and convenient that I didn't have to get up out of bed to go to the restoom, though. I feel like I've been bothering the nurses a bit too much with all of my "I need to go to the bathroom" requests since I've gotten my catheter taken out. It's mainly because I'm plugged up too all these different monitors and I didn't know how to unhook them. (Thankfully, my nurse just showed me how so now I can do it by myself! YAY! I love independence. I just don't like feeling like a burden to someone.)

Things are going pretty good. I've had a few annoying contractions, but they haven't been all that consistent. I've had a ton of back pain, though. From the looks of things, I think I'll get to go home tomorrow. *crosses fingers* I really hope so. I like being able to just get up and pee when I need to and not having to buzz a nurse.

I'm not sure if Andrew put this on facebook, but the doctor's aren't going to be stopping contractions anymore. I don't know if this means that I'll still be on bedrest when I go home or what. Of course I'm going to take things easy. If I can keep this baby cooking, I will do whatever I can. I'll be 34 weeks tomorrow! Three weeks away from full-term. I would really like to make it those three weeks. It would even be amazing if I make it beyond! I guess we'll have to see. Keep cooking, Baby Kayson, keep cooking. I'll keep y'all in the know about what's been going on.

Right Now

2011-06-27T04:04:00.000-07:00

I'm laying in a hospital bed with a foley catheter in my urethra. Last night I had ro pee really bad and I thought thst I was doing a pretty dang good job lowering my dignity enough for a bed pan. The doctor suggested a catheter so that I could stay in bed and not have to get up. At first I refused the catheter, and then the doctor used his sweet Georgia charm (that's why I like my OB...he's from my home state) and asked, "What if I said 'please'? And I was, "Oh alright then." It's interesting how before I ever had to be admitted to a hospital (we're talking January when I was only about 3 months pregnant), I told Andrew that he shouldn't look down when they're doing stuff between my legs. I've got the nosiest and most curious husband. It's like he couldn't take his eyes off of what he was doing. Like he was looking at some History show. (And for those who know Andrew, you know that he gets really engrossed in watching pretty much anything History.) I bet if you were to turn the tv on to something historical while they were putting that catheter in, he would probably ignore the tv. I guess this means rhar he's probably gonna wanna watch his son being born. Oh well...I guess I can focus on the amazement in his face when I'm in labor.

I've got a nasal tube in to help me breathe. At first I had a face mask, but those things are so darn uncomfortable. I really like the feel of the cool oxygen going up my nose, though.

I've got blood pressure cuffs on my feet. I would put up a picture of what they look like, but I can't find one on Google. I guess basically they try and make sure that blood is circulating through my legs since I'm confined to a bed. It almost feels like getting your blood pressure taken in your arm, but this this regulates between my leg foot and right food.

I'm starting to feel the really real contractions and they hurt. It feels like I'm on my period. Tons of cramping in my stomach and my back. I had my husband give me a little back massage because here it is 3:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. Then, I felt bad that I was depriving Andrew of his sleep. He has to get up at 7am, go home, get dressed and then take a midterm. I probably won't get to see him until late afternoon because he has classes after his test. I'm trying to breathe through these contractions, but they hurt. I'd better get it figured out before the really real contractions hit. I'm trying not to take any medications. They've already got me hooked up to an IV. They put two bags of antibiotics in me last night and now I'm just getting fluids since I lost a ton last night.

LAST NIGHT...was really interesting and scary. Right now, I'm finally in a non-panicky mode.

I called my doctor at about 4pm yesterday because I had been having contractions every five to twenty minutes. That's about 5-6 contractions in an hour. And they were "take my breath away" painful. I was having only light cramping, though. He told me to drink a ton of water and call him back within an hour if the contractions didn'r go away. I downed like two bottles within 45 mintues and I had to pee so darn much. But...the contractions didn't stopped. I even laid on my left side per my doula's suggestion because laying on your left side tends to stop or slow contractions. I called my doctor after having another 6 contractions witrhin that short time span and he sent me over to labor and delivery.

When I got to the hospital, they hooked me up to the monitors to be sure that I was contracting and I was. They checked my cervix and I was still dilated to a one. No changes from Saturday night. Then, they gave me another shot in the back of my arm to stop contractions. It did the usual speeding up my heart rate. It made me feel like I was on speed. I have no idea why people would like that drug. It doesn't feel comfortable having your heart rate go so high. About 20 minutes later, the nurse came in to give me another shot, only in the other arm this time. After that shot, I started to have some problems. My heart rate was going REALLY fast. I was trying to keep my breathing slow and steady. The next thing I know, I was having a really hard time breathing. My chest got really tight and I just couldn't breathe at all. Andrew ran and got a nurse and they kept trying to help me breathe. I remember Andrew telling me to look at him. I kept trying to focus my eyes on him. I was crying and couldn't stop. My chest was getting really tight and according to the nurse, my stomach was really tight, too. I remember at one point gasping and trying really hard to draw in a breath. The nurses ran out to notify my OB.

At one point, they gave me the oxygen mask and it helped my breathing a little bit. Andrew stayed by my side the entire time. Such an awesome support system. They finally got my breathing leveled and Andrew asked me a bunch of short answer questions like, "Where did you graduate from college?" and "What's my name?"

Unfortunately, after about 10-15 of relaxed breathing and being able to answer short answer questions, I couldn't breathe AGAIN. Andrew raced out to get the nurse. The next thing I know, there are a ton of people in the room. They are all talking to me and trying to get me to respond. Andrew said that he thinks that at one point, I blacked out. He said that my eyes were bloodshot red. I remember my OB come in and asking me some questions, but I couldn't answer him. I was convulsing so bad and I could feel my eyes roam about. I couldn't focus. I was seeing spots. I was shaking a ton. I couldn't talk. All I could do was stroke my chest because that's where the pain was coming from. I ended up choking so much from trying to breathe that I threw up everywhere. On the side of the bed, on the bed, on myself, in the breathing mask, and even on the doctor. Andrew said that when they sat me up, I had a lot of mucus coming out of my nose and my mouth and it was just hanging there. Somehow they got me hooked up to an IV. A respiratory expert came in to check my breathing. It was such a scary experience. My pulse was at 180 while I was convulsing and they said that normal is below 100, so it was definitely not good. I just remember trying to take control of my body, but I couldn't. There was even a white light that I wanted to go to because it seemed like it would take away the pain. Andrew said that it looked like I was having a seizure, only worse. They rushed me down to get a cat scan. I was shaking the whole way down, but it wasn't because I was cold. Cat scan came back okay, but they found some blood. They think that I may have placental abruption. They're going to do an ultrasound check in a few hours to see what's going on. I hope that everything's okay. If not, I could be having my baby boy this week. I know that they're going to keep me until at least tomorrow, though.

Right now, I am really grateful for everyone's prayers. Someone even brought Andrew dinner. I am grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A bunch of people from my ward have offered to do things to help and I have tried to take them up on that offer. Some people are going to come sit with me while Andrew's in class. There are so many blessings within each storm. I have endured a lot in the past 24 hours, but the Lord wouldn't give me what I can't handle. I feel like I'm on overload, but I just keep having faith that things will work out...and I know they will.

In all honesty

2011-06-26T12:53:00.000-07:00

1. Contractions feel nothing like what I was expecting. Maybe it's because I'm still in the early stage. I had and still have no idea how to tell the difference from the real thing and the fake thing. I mean...the contractions I was having were the real thing, but they weren't always consistent. I wonder if I was having a mix of Braxton hicks and true contractions. Is that possible? Shoot, I wouldn't know...I'm a first time mom. The only reason I know if I'm having contractions is that my stomach gets really tight and along with that, my chest gets really tight. It makes it harder to breathe. I've only had to use my asthma pump once this week, though, and that was this morning--YAY! I have no idea how people manage to breathe through the pain when they can barely breathe at all. I guess I'll come to that point when I reach it.

2. Yeah...no one tells you how uncomfortable it is to be checked. I've watched a lot of TLC and I see some of the women squish up their faces...other women look totally relaxed. I don't think I looked relaxed at all. I bet my nose was turned all up like someone farted. The nurse checked me after hooking me up to the monitor and realizing that I was having consistent contractions. Then, the doctor checked me about an hour after they gave me the medicine to stop labor. Thank goodness I was only dilated to a one each time.

According to stuff that I've read, being dilated to a one is just barely the tip of the OB's finger. Gee, it felt like him and the nurse were digging for gold, though. Soooo much fun, let me tell ya. Andrew looked all concerned when he saw the blood on the doctor's fingers. Apparently it's all normal, though.

Well...those are the two things I can think of. I'll update again when I find out about more stuff that I didn't know about.

Grateful

2011-06-26T03:16:00.000-07:00

There's so much for me to be grateful for and I wanted to list them all right off the top of my head.

~First and foremost: a WONDERFUL HUSBAND. He has been my comfort through all the things that have been happening. When we were in the hospital, he kept telling me to just breathe. He was great to focus on when I was having a contraction, and he let me hold his hand. (Thank goodness, I haven't gone in the 'squeeze the heck out of your spouse's hand' stage of labor.) For the past four hours, he has been sleeping on his left side. Usually right after he falls asleep, he turns over onto his back or his right side to sleep. Not tonight. He has been sleeping cuddled up to me. I married such a sweet man.

~INTUITION: Sometimes a woman knows when something's going on. I was having timeable contractions on Tuesday, but I decided to wait it out. I didn't want to call the doctor like some dummy because I wasn't even sure if I was having contractions. I thought they were just Braxton hicks. By Friday night, they were coming every 5-20 minutes. I still decided to wait it out. On Saturday, I was having contractions no matter what. If I moved, the contractions didn't stop. I could be laying down, sitting up, walking around...I'd keep having the contraction. I decided to call the doctor and let him know what was going on. I had had contractions about 10 minutes apart. He sent me to Labor and Delivery, they hooked me up to monitors, and sure enough I was having real contractions. They didn't hurt or anything, but they were extremely uncomfortable and made it so that I could barely breathe. I'm so glad that I trusted my gut and finally called the doc!

~TERBUTALINE: These are the drugs that they use to stop contractions. Once they confirmed that I was having contractions (I actually had the nurse feel my stomach at the hospital because it was really tight and that's what I had been timing...she confirmed that yep, it was a contraction.), they gave me the shot in my arm. Then, they monitored me. The contractions stopped after about 5-10 minutes after the shot. Thank goodness!

~STEROIDS: Because the doctor thinks that Kayson will make his way into the world before 37 weeks, they gave me some meds to help mature his lungs. I got the shot in my hip and it wasn't all that pleasant. The nurse was like, "It'll be quick and painless." Andrew tried to distract me by asking me about the new Harry Potter movie...it helped enough to get me through the poke. I still took a really deep breath in, though. I have to go back tonight to get another shot. I know that babies born preterm sometimes come into the world with breathing problems, so if those shots help him I am all for it. I want my baby healthy.

~SENSE OF HUMOR: I've had to learn to just laugh at myself and through all of the anxiety. If I don't laugh, I will probably cry. I think I've cried enough this pregnancy.

~PRIESTHOOD BLESSING: One of our neighbors from the apartment complex came over with her husband, while he helped Andrew give me a blessing. (Just so you know, this neighbor has been beyond amazing. I love her so much right now! She's almost like my substitute mom and she's only 3 years older than me.) For those of you who don't know what a priesthood blessing is, here's a short description taken from lds.org: "A blessing given by a Melchizedek Priesthood holder (basically a worthy guy in the church), by the laying on of hands and by inspiration, to one who is sick or otherwise in need of special counsel, comfort, or healing. If the blessing is for the sick, consecrated oil is used." I think the blessing helped out a bit. I haven't had a contraction since 11:30 last night! YAY!

~ENTERTAINMENT: Since it looks like I'll be spending a lot of time on the couch and/or bed, I am grateful for the things that I'll be able to do...like read, watch tv, get on the internet. I'm such an active girl and these things should keep me "settled," I hope, until week 37. Only 2 weeks and about 2 days away from 37 weeks! Almost there.

~MY LITTLE BOY: As soon as the nurse put the monitors on my stomach last night, Kayson decided that he was going to be FEISTY. He kicked those monitors so hard. I don't think he rested/relaxed the whole 2 and a half hours that I was at the hospital. It gave me a lot of comfort, though, because he's such a little fighter already. I'm going to have my hands full when he gets here.

~MY SAVIOR: I wanted to put this last because He is the most important to me. Without Him, I have no clue what I'd do. It's nice to have someone who has gone through this and can relate to me personally. When I get worried, it's easy for me to say, "Hello, Jesus. I could really use some help right now." I just know that He listens. My Savior died not only for my sins, but my illnesses. I feel like I have such a strong bond with Him as my body is being tested and pushed towards its limits. I can almost hear the Savior's voice saying, "Keep going. You can do it. You're almost there."

You Know You're Pregnant When...

2011-05-11T08:35:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, a woman posted something on Babycenter called, "You Know You're Pregnant When..." She started with the first "symptom" and the other ladies jumped on the bandwagon, including me! I spent the night crying from laughing so hard at all of the things that the ladies typed out. So I decided to make my own list of things. Here goes...

~You open your legs so that you can bend down to pick something up off the floor.
~You eat 5 cinnamon rolls and become really sad when your husband wants to eat one.
~You pass gas and have to walk away from your own fart before you pass out.
~You get tired and have to lay down after trying to put on your shoes.
~Your husband has to help you put your pants on.
~You can't see past your stomach.
~You sit and stare at your stomach for five minutes watching the baby kick.
~You go up two cup sizes in your bra in three months.
~You sit down and your boobs sit on your stomach and your stomach sits on your lap.
~You waddle.
~You think about walking up a flight of stairs and you get really tired.
~You have to eat foods that you crave otherwise you get sick.
~Even though you're a meat lover, you can go for a week without eating it.
~The baby moves into a weird position and you sprint to the bathroom hoping that you don't pee on yourself.
~You unbutton your pants when you get into the car.
~You feel that it is necessary to ride the elevator up one floor.
~You consider shaving your stomach.
~You cook dinner and when it's finally finished, you can't eat it because the sight of it makes you sick.
~You sit with your legs wide open like a man.
~The slightest things make you cry.
~You have a case of the "walking farts."
~All you want is for your husband to spend time with you and snuggle but the second they are in the room with you or touching you, you want to scream.
~Watching the opening scene of Star Trek where the wife is giving birth while Captain Kirk is going to die on the ship is making you bawl your eyes out.
~You locate the bathroom every place you go because you know you'll use it at least once.
~You've had a conversation with your husband and 10 seconds later don't remember a word you said.
~Your belly looks like a done turkey cause your bellybutton has popped out.
~You wonder when the nesting instinct will kick in because the house is a mess and you don't want to get off the couch.
~Dinner becomes fast food, because it sounds better and requires no effort on your part.

Baby Got Back

2011-05-03T15:46:00.001-07:00

Alright folks, so it's official. After 21 years of struggling, of not fitting in with my family, I finally got my black girl booty! Oh man, I am so excited. A little sad, too. So I wanted to dress up for devotional today, but I didn't want to wear a skirt. You folks that live or have lived in Rexburg know what it's like to wear a skirt when it's really windy outside. I did not want to be like Marilyn Monroe, so instead of wearing a skirt, I decided I'd wear a pair of slacks. Well...I have NO maternity slacks whatsoever. I decided I'd just wear my black pre-pregnancy slacks. I mean...they fit about a month ago after all. I slipped them on and...well...just look at the picture. How do YOU think the pants fit me?

Before, I could at least zip up these pants. Not anymore. And not only are the pants tight in the front, they are super tight in the back. I felt like I had on yoga pants or something. The only difference is that these had no give. When I put the pants on I tried to button up the middle button. After sucking in my stomach, I actually could button up the middle button. Andrew kinda shook his head at me, though. He said that he didn't want the buttons from my pants to pop off and hit someone in the eye. I guess I better head to a maternity store soon and buy me some slacks. If the darn wind go away, I'll just stick to to a skirt.

The really weird thing is before I was pregnant, I hated wearing skirts. Now I like the freedom. I like that most, if not all, of my skirts have elastic in the waist. Hallelujah. But, I think right now I would make my family proud. I'm finally getting that tooshie! Oh, the joys of pregnancy!

Dancing Machine

2011-05-03T15:46:00.000-07:00

Before Andrew and I got married, I would go dancing ALL the time. Usually I would go with groups of people and we'd stay out until curfew...dancing the night away. Fast forward...I met Andrew and he couldn't dance at all. He had no rhythm, but it was so cute to see him try!

I decided that I would take him out to parties and teach him how to dance. To put it honestly, he danced just like a white guy! I had to teach him how to find the right beats to music. I also had to show him where to put his hands/arms so that they weren't just dangling. After we got married, we tried to go to parties for about one semester. The parties just weren't the same anymore. I felt too grown up for it. Some of the time, the kids at the parties acted really immature and I was pretty above it. So...we stopped going to the parties and we'd have our own little dances/parties here at home.

Fast forward to Saturday. Our school was having a back to school dance and I kinda wanted to go. It's been so long since I've been dancing, and I knew that it'd be the last chance that I would have to go to a BYU-I welcome back to school dance, so I convinced Andrew to go. (It didn't take a lot of convincing...as long as he gets to be with me, he's usually fine.)

Dancing while pregnant is a lot different from dancing while not pregnant. I danced one song and I thought that I was going to pass out because I couldn't breathe well. And apparently, my hips don't/can't move like they used to. I was moving around all awkwardly trying to find my hips. Now I know what a white girl feels like! haha! I was actually able to stay at the dance for a good hour and a half. There was A LOT of sitting down and taking walking laps around the gym, though. It's so funny that I'm only 25 weeks, but I lose my breath so easily now. It probably doesn't help much that I have asthma. I have a feeling that pregnancy is going to kick my butt when I'm 9 months!

A few of my favorite things

2011-04-22T19:24:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been having the WORST back pains. They are usually pretty low, but sometimes they are in the middle of my back. I had Andrew give me back massages, but they only worked temporarily. I was pretty much in desperation mode as to what I could do to alleviate the pain. I looked on the internet and some women were mentioning body pillows. So...I went to Wal-Mart and I was convinced that no matter what the price was I was going to buy me a body pillow to help with my back pain. Fortunately, I found one that was on sale for $8.00! Oh yeah!

My pillow pretty much looks like the one in that picture except that it's blue (just the way I like it). I will tell ya, that pillow has been getting more cuddle time than Andrew. I'm sure he's more than a little jealous. Sometimes if I sleep on my right side, I have to put the pillow between me and Andrew. Well...there's not enough room for all three of us. Sometimes Andrew ends up on the very edge of the bed. Hmph, at least I'm comfortable.

Another investment that we made for daytime usage is a yoga ball. It was only $12! If my back starts hurting, I'll sit on the ball and move my hips around or bounce on it. Sometimes I get on all fours with my chest on the ball. BEST POSITION EVER. Nowadays Andrew thinks that the ball is part his. As I speak, he is laying on the floor with his feet up on my ball. I guess we really are going through this pregnancy together. I get to have all of the physical pain and he gets to relax with his feet up. hahaha! I do love that man, though. I guess it's fine since he made a very nice dinner for tonight.

I think that I'll be taking both the ball and the pillow with me to the hospital when I'm in labor. Forget chocolate and forget diamonds; my yoga ball and body pillow are my best friends.

My Graduation Day

2011-04-09T05:31:00.000-07:00

This day has started out very interesting. I've been awake since about 5. The plan was for me to wake up at 6:30, so that I could get ready. I wouldn't say that graduation nervousness is what woke me up, though. The first time that I woke up started with a dream...

Andrew and I were in Wal-Mart (we were actually there last night) and I went to the bathroom because I had to pee really bad. Well...when I got in the stall, I realized that I was going into labor. I was having really bad stomach pains (I suppose those were contractions) and I was bleeding pretty bad. Also, something was making its way down. Yeah...Baby K was about to be born in a Wal-Mart bathroom. Somehow I managed to pull up my pants and head out of the bathroom...and that's when I woke up. I really thought that I was in labor then because my thighs were soaking wet. Thank goodness it was just sweat! I woke Andrew up and told him about the dream. I was worried, but not too worried...I knew that Baby K was alright. The next dream is what got me.

I don't remember too much from this next dream, except it was horrible. It was probably the worst dream I've ever had. There was so much death...my dad and younger sister had died in a house fire. Some guy that I didn't know passed out and his eyes were rolled up in his head. A girl who had planned on becoming a teacher had died a tragic death. It was horrible. I woke up suddenly because it was just too much. I also work Andrew up because I was terrified. I told him what my dream was about and then I just started bawling. REALLY bawling. It made me realize how much I miss my family. I haven't seen them in about 20 months (that's almost two years). I was really hoping that they'd be at my graduation, but things didn't work out. They can't be here and it just makes me feel so sad. I don't know for sure that everyone is okay. I don't get to see them on a weekly basis anymore. It just feels so weird. Andrew held me for almost 15 minutes while I just cried and cried and cried. I'm actually still crying. I guess once the floodgates open, they are really hard to close...especially when you add pregnancy hormones to the mix. Andrew ended up giving me a blessing and it has made me feel a ton better. The tears are still going, but I feel more comfort. In the blessing, he was letting me know that Heavenly Father was proud of me and that His angels would be with me at graduation. I feel such peace in knowing that those angels and my sweet husband will be there.

Although it's been a tough three years, I know without a doubt that I was supposed to come out here to BYU-Idaho. The Lord led me here with a specific purpose in mind. I have met such wonderful people while being here, and I have received a quality education. If I had not come out here to Idaho, I might not have met my husband and we wouldn't be expecting our first baby. Everything happens for a reasons. Through trials and tribulations come tremendous blessings. I know without doubt that my Father in Heaven loves me. If He didn't love me, He would have given up on me a long time ago. But, He hasn't. He has been with me every step of the way. He is the one that I am entrusting my family to while I'm away from them.

Ever since the first time that I woke up this morning (at 3am), Baby K has been kicking up a storm. It gives me a lot of comfort. I love that little guy so very much and I haven't even met him yet. I look forward to holding him and kissing his face. I'm looking forward to just seeing him.

Although I won't be able to see my Georgia family for a little while, Andrew and I have decided that we will make a trip down to Arizona so that we can be with our Arizona family. I'm looking forward to this. There's so much to look forward to. There are blessings all around...you just have to look for them. "Be still, and know that I am God."

The Faith to Act

2011-04-04T19:51:00.000-07:00

I actually started this post back in 2009, but I haven't had the chance to finish it up! I love this picture of Paul and Jesus. It gives me a lot of hope. There have been so many things that I've struggled with and I know without doubt that the Lord is always there. I just have to make that first step.

Andrew and I made the decision to get married in the temple, and we have made sure to keep the Lord in our marriage because we can't do it without Him. He's the one that keeps us going. He tells us what we need to do. I have made sure to keep in mind, though, that I have to go to Him. He won't just come to me all the time. I have to make sure that the door is open for Him to enter in. I have to be the one to invite Him in.

As Andrew and I take this next step in life and become parents, I know that it is even more important for us to depend on the Lord. He knows how His children should be best raised. If we go to Him for help, we can't go wrong. I just have to have faith in our abilities and make sure that I am doing my best. The Lord will take care of the rest.

He Likes to Move It, Move It

2011-04-04T19:44:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that I have been feeling this little boy move for 7 weeks now! It started out as little flutters here and there. Before, I couldn't feel him move everyday and now I feel him just about all the time! He absolutely loves to explore. His favorite place to nestle is REALLY low in my uterus. He usually lays on the right side, but for the past few days, he's been hanging out on the right side. He's gotten to the point where he kicks/punches my bladder. That's definitely a shock! I try to keep my bladder empty, but I have a feeling that soon I'll have to wear Depends to make sure I don't pee on myself.

He is also starting to react to voices, especially Andrew's. He could be still for a few hours, but as soon as he hears his Daddy's voice he's up and about. It's the cutest thing. I wonder if he's going to be more of a Daddy's boy or a Momma's boy. (I just hope he remembers that I'm the one with the food! ;-)) I can't believe that he'll be here in four months! I'll actually be in my sixth month next week (according to the What to Expect book). So that's only THREE months away. It's exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. I am just really excited to see him. I keep wondering if he's going to come out white like Andrew, dark like me, or a nice mixture. There's so much to look forward to! Baby K is about a pound now and is as long as a banana. (Mm...banana...that's making me hungry.) I don't doubt that he's that long. He can now kick/punch above my belly button.

Pregnancy is a wonderful adventure. I'm loving every bit of it, even the aches and pains, nausea, huge appetite, and near bladder spills! I know that all of that will bring me one step closer to my little angel.

All Natural

2011-04-04T19:30:00.000-07:00

Since I hit about 20 weeks, I have had THE WORST back pain I've ever had. I know it's probably because my center of gravity is all messed up and I make up for it by arching my back, but I can't figure out how to fix it. I can't find my abs! They've been with me for all of my life and now I don't know where they are. Earlier tonight, I tightening my abs and asked Andrew if he could tell that I was and he said no. It feels so weird to have a belly now. My body is trying to adjust to the difference. Lately, I have been craving the swimming pool! Yea, I know, I know, the swimming pool isn't food, but I want to be in the pool as much as I want food. And if you know me, I'm not a big fan of the pool. (Why do they have to make it so cold?!) I just want to get in and float around. I want to be light on my feet. I know that I'm still really tiny (especially for 22 weeks), but I can feel all 9 pounds that I've gained. (I'm probably up to 11 pounds with the two bowls of cereal that I eat every morning!)

I decided that the back pain was too much so I had Andrew give me a massage. It wasn't one of those sissy massages either. He was using his palm and pressing down hard. Best feeling ever! He asked me how long I wanted him to do it, and I told him that if it was up to me I'd have him massage my back all night. I think this will be one of the coping techniques that I use when I'm labor...

Ah...labor. Thank goodness I still have 18 weeks to prepare! Even though I know it's going to pass by like crazy. I think it's so hilarious to watch people's facial expressions when they hear how I'm going to go through labor...all natural. I don't want drugs. Shoot, my body was MADE to do this. If I can learn how to cope, I think I'll be okay. If labor is as bad as kidney stones, I might be in a bit of trouble, though! But, I did learn that focusing on breathing helps a ton. I decided that I'm going to have a doula. I think it'll be nice to have someone who has been through labor before and know some techniques that will help me. I think she'll help Andrew stay calm, too. I really want to labor in the shower. I absolutely LOVE hot water running over me. It's the perfect feeling. If I can have the water, Andrew's back massaging, the birth ball, and be able to walk around, everything will be all good. We'll see what Baby K has in store for us, though.

I may just end up looking like this lady.

At least her hair looks good.

Leaving My Comfort Zone

2011-03-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know already, we are having a boy! We had the ultrasound on the 24th and Baby K wasn't shy at all. Before we went into the doctor's office, I made sure that I had a little talk with him. We got to see all of his organs and he was very healthy. Everything is working great. He has such a cute little nose! I'm thinking that he has my nose and his dad's lips. Nice combo. I'm so excited to see what he looks like, but I can wait the 19 weeks.

Here is a picture of what he looks like. Handsome, hunh?

Ever since we found out that he's a boy, we've been buying a ton of stuff for him. We went to D.I. and bought 20 books and 10 outfits. We got all of that for $30. I want to make sure that he has his own library. I also looked into cloth diapers. I spent all day on Saturday researching it. It's so different from what I'm used to, but I've heard some good things about it. One benefit is that I will save tons of money! I'm all about saving money. I will admit that I was so intimidated about cloth diapering when I looked into it. There are so many different options and styles. It's nothing like it was a long time ago.

Look at how cute that diaper is! We bought about a dozen prefolds (those are the kind of diapers that first come to mind what you think about cloth diapers...you can pin them up or you can fold them and put them in diaper covers) and 3 pockets. The one that you see above is a pocket diaper. We've spent about $60 bucks on diapers so far. We own 15 and we need to have about 36 so that we don't have to wash diapers everyday. In the end, we'll probably spend about $120. Not too shabby. And they are reusable.

I also looked into some DIY projects, like toys and such. I want to make him a crane mobile using some scrapbook paper. I also saw a really cool pattern for baby blocks and a baby rattle. I went out and bought some red and black fabric so that I can make the blocks. The blocks might look something like the one below.

This little boy is already loved so much. He's going to be spoiled! His grandmas are already looking into buying him some stuff. He has also pretty much taken control of my body. He loves to kick as hard as he can. Or he decides that he wants to push his head against my stomach and just hold it there. It's a comfort to feel him, but sometimes I have to fight him a little bit. I've already had to use my "discipline" voice to get him to move from a certain spot. But, as long as he's okay, I'm okay.

Kidney Stones, Gas Pains, and Loratab

2011-03-23T18:53:00.000-07:00

Alright, so some of you may know that I ended up in the hospital two Sundays ago (on the 13th), but you may not know why. I woke up that morning having to pee and it hurt REALLY bad. I had been noticing that pattern. If I have to go to the bathroom early in the morning my bladder will wake me up and let me know. Usually once I go then I'm all good. BUT not this time. I went and then got back in bed. The pain was horrible. I was tossing and turning, trying to go to sleep, and it just was not working. I tried to stand up and I couldn't even do that. So I woke Andrew up. He asked me if I wanted to call my doctor and I told him no. I thought maybe I had really bad gas. My gas usually comes and goes, though. This pain wasn't going anywhere. I finally gave in and he called the doctor. I was crying up a storm when he called my doctor, and I tried to talk on the phone to him. I think he could tell from my voice that I was in pain, and he told me to head to the E.R.

I got to the E.R. and OF COURSE my pain would start to go away after I got there. So annoying. Mainly they observed me. My doctor even "checked" me. Talk about annoying. I mean...I'm used to the one type of exam, but not when they decide to go up the other way. There should be no going up there...there should only be going DOWN. They sent me home after about 3-4 hours and I went home. I rested and then I went to church.

Fast forward 4 days. I had been doing great the whole week and all of a sudden on Thursday the pain came back. Excruciating pain! I was just sitting at the school grading papers (thank goodness school was out) and it hit me hard. I thought that I was having contractions or something. I've never felt pains like that. Period pains don't compare. I got in the car and tried to drive myself...while in a ton of pain. I had tried to call Andrew several times because I really didn't know what to do. (Yeah...his phone was on silent and he was asleep.) I drove to Subway because I told Andrew that I was going to pick up some food and I was starving. Shoot, I was in pain but I still gotta eat. After I got my food, I called the women's clinic and they told me to come in.

Went there and they sent me to the E.R. AGAIN. This time my pain didn't try to hide. About darn time. They did an ultrasound on my back and side and the guy found that I had a blockage in my kidney. (They actually found something! I was so happy because it seems like I always have mystery diseases that don't show up on anything for people to see.) I stayed at the E.R. for a while. They pumped some fluids into me and sent me home with some painkillers.

Now what? I have to wait til I pass something the size of a darn pebble so that the pain will go away. YAY! On the plus side, because I've been in so much pain I've been getting super spoiled. The ladies in my ward have been making dinner for me and Andrew. We're going to have a week's worth of leftovers! Awesome!

Oh my gosh, get it out!

2011-03-01T20:05:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here watching "One Born Every Minute" and it's pretty much like Baby Story or Birth Day. This woman on here was SCREAMING. Shoot, she was scaring me. Do I really have to do that in five months? I hope I'm not yelling so that the whole labor and delivery floor hears me. She was even telling the nurse, "Don't breathe in my face." I really shouldn't be watching this show because I can see myself going into labor and saying, "You might think that the baby's about to come out of my hoo-hah, but you got another thing coming!" Especially after watching all of these shows. Maybe my labor will be easy...maybe...Right now I'm set on no epidural, but then again, I like the drugs! Drugs make you feel good inside. They were invented for a reason. It's so funny because the lady on this show was trying to push out the baby and she screamed, "Oh my gosh! The BURNING RING OF FIRE!" I have no idea what that is, but it makes me nervous. Wait, let me google it. Alright, so it's basically a burning, stinging pain. I've never experienced that down there before. I guess we'll see how that goes. You best believe I'm going to tell y'all all about it after the labor in August. Pray for me!

Are you in there, little fetus?

2011-03-01T19:46:00.000-08:00

"Are you in there, little fetus? In 9 months, will you come greet us? I will buy you some Adidas."
-Phoebe from Friends

It is still SO weird to think that there is a baby in my stomach! At this very moment, the kiddo's kicking me. We bought a prenatal listener about three weeks ago and it finally came in. Trust me, I've been making sure that I'm getting my money's worth. I don't listen to the baby all the time, but enough to keep me happy. Today I decided to listen for the heartbeat because I had a bit of a hard day. I've been able to find the heartbeat very easily. The baby is right below my belly button. (It's so weird because four weeks ago s/he was very low on the right side of my stomach.) I got to listen for a good 20 seconds and then the baby moved! S/he likes playing hide-n-seek. ("Now you see me, now you don't." We got ourselves a Houdini.) I'm thinking that the baby just moved deeper into my stomach because I press the monitor against my stomach a lot more in order to hear the heartbeat.

Pregnancy is...interesting. Once I hit 6 weeks, I was sick for about 10 weeks straight. I just started feeling better last week. I can finally eat meat again! YAY! I went for a week without meat because it made me feel so sick. (And you all know that I love me some meat.) Another interesting thing about pregnancy is hard my stomach feels. People have been asking me to post pictures, but I have to wait til the bump moves up some more. Until then, just use your imagination. I'm still really tiny. The only thing that's changed a ton are the girls up top. And when I say changed, I mean CHANGED. It's pretty darn awesome. I just have to get used to how heavy they feel. Something else that I didn't really expect...the GAS. Oh boy, I could have a passing gas contest with Andrew now. Whoo...that stuff comes out of nowhere. And it comes when I least expect it--like church and in the classroom. Hopefully Andrew doesn't think that our apartment has turned into a free gas zone.

I'm almost to the halfway mark! Time is going by so fast!

My Very Bad Habit

2010-09-03T16:15:00.000-07:00

Alright, so for the past three years or so, I've had this habit that I haven't been able to break. There was a point in time when I sucked my thumb (I finally stopped before getting into high school, but only because the dentist put a special thing at the top of my mouth that would cut my thumb every time I put it in my mouth). This habit started when I was just a baby. Then, there was a time when I had a nail-biting habit. I managed to break that one by myself, only to pick up this new habit that I have--biting my cheek. Maybe some of you who have been around me in the past three years may have noticed that I do this. I usually take my knuckle and push it against my cheek so that I can bite the skin. Then, I rip the skin away from the flesh. Sometimes my cheeks bleed from all the pulling (and yet even through the bleeding, I keep biting)...and I've got a bunch of dead skin in my mouth now. I also have an ulcer. I've had mouth ulcers before from this habit and they usually keep me from biting my cheeks for a while because they're so painful. In the past three weeks, though, I've had three ulcers--THREE! I decided to get a dentist's opinion and he was thinking that I might need to wear a mouth guard during the day. The thing is...it costs $160 and we don't even have dental insurance. *sigh* So I decided to google my habit and I found out that there a bunch of people out there that do it. Cheek biters unite! Whoo! I've got to figure out something, though, because apparently my habit can lead to oral cancer. Grr...I don't want cancer...from what I hear, it's not the best thing, and I've got enough health stuff to deal with.

What less dangerous habit can I pick up to replace the one that I have now? Usually I bite my cheeks when I'm bored, hungry, anxious, or upset. And it's kinda embarrassing when I do it in public. People stare at me, especially in class. The embarrassment keeps me from doing it for a little while, but I always go back to biting my cheek. The urge is a lot stronger than embarrassment. Besides, I'm not one to really care what people think about me or things that I'm doing. I'm my own person and if I'm going to bite my cheek, then I'm going to do it with pride! At least I'm not eating my own boogers.

Yogurt-rice Salad

2010-08-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

Alright y'all, so when I went to the doctor on Thursday, August 12th, she told me that I have to get back on the BRATTY diet. In case you don't know what that is, it's basically bananas, rice, apples, toast, tea, and yogurt. I'm not the biggest fan of this diet because it doesn't help me to feel any better and there is NO meat involved. I am like 95% carnivore and 5% herbivore. I love my meat. Anywho...so last night, I was joking with Andrew that I could have a salad with yogurt salad dressing. I started to look for a salad dressing recipe and found one, but I also found a recipe for yogurt-rice salad. The recipe called for a bunch of stuff. This is the ingredient list below.

1 cup basmati or long-grain white rice
1 English cucumber (about 14 oz.)
1 zucchini (about 5 oz.)
1 Granny Smith apple (about 8 oz.)
1 cup chopped white or red onion, rinsed and drained
2 cups plain nonfat yogurt
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
About 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1/4 teaspoon hot chili flakes
1/8 teaspoon cracked or coarse-ground pepper
3/4 cup shredded carrots

And this is what the food was kinda supposed to look like:

(The picture makes it look really good)

Of course, I had to exclude most of the stuff on the list. So, I decided to make the salad using just the rice, apple, plain nonfat yogurt (I'm not a fan of nonfat (I need all the fat I can get!) so I got low fat instead), and a little bit of nutmeg. Boy, you should have seen my face when I tasted that mess. It was so darn plain and ugh. (The recipe had gotten some pretty good reviews, but mainly because the people got to use all of the yummy ingredients!) I let Andrew try it and he agreed with me that it was plain, but he actually kinda liked it. Anywho...I wanted to do something to make the food bearable. I sliced up two bananas and added about a cup of sugar to it. It was still kinda nasty after I added those things, so I added another 1/2 cup of sugar and some cinnamon. Talk about good. It was my dessert lunch and dinner.

Here is what my dessert looks like:

Okay okay, so mine doesn't look as good as the one in the other picture, but looks can be deceiving. I'm pretty proud of myself because I'm not good with recipes, but apparently when you add about 2 cups of sugar and cinnamon, you can make anything good. Well...dessert-wise. I'm not sure you can do the same thing with meat and I don't plan on trying it anytime soon. But, I am proof that you can make the best out of something that seems bad...like that darn BRATTY diet.

For the full recipe for the yogurt-rice salad and the good looking picture, go to: http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=653561

You Know You Have a Black Mother If...

2010-08-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

1) she's cleaning the house and it's already clean.

Boy, I remember those days. She would wake up early in the morning (there I was trying to sleep in...as my mom would say, "What you tired for? You ain't go no full time job) and cut her radio on. She wouldn't have the music on low, though. She would BLAST it and start cleaning up. I remember waking up to the sounds of the vacuum and the radio.

2) you've ever been hit in the head or knuckles with a hairbrush or comb.

I learned not to move when I was getting my hair done. I had to figure things out...it's like, "What hurts the most...letting her do my hair or getting my hair done?" or "Do I want to take the pain and get my hair did or walk around school looking like a mess?" I also got hit on the knuckles with a hairbrush. If you think that feels good, then you've got a problem. I would try to lay my hand out as flat as possible, but have my knuckles up just a little bit. If your hand was in a fist, that brush was no joke! Laying your hand out more kinda took away some of the pain because you can't really get to the knuckles.

3) you've ever been called from downstairs, upstairs, the back of the house, or from the front of the house to fix her a glass of ice water, get her the remote control, or change the channel on the tv.

My momma would call out my name and I would say, "ma'am?" and she wouldn't even respond. I would have to get up and go see what she wanted. Sometimes I kept saying "ma'am?" hoping that she would respond and I wouldn't have to get up. Nope, didn't even work.

4) you've been told to "Shut Up or I'll give you something to cry about" while she beats you with a belt-pronouncing every syllable ---"Didn't (hit) I (hit) tell (hit) you (hit) not (hit) to (hit) do (hit) that (hit) no (hit) more?"

I loved the "shut up or I'll give you something to cry about" phrase. There I was after just getting whooped and she tells me not to cry? lol. That's like the hardest thing, too. Your butt's all sore and you're trying to hold the crying noises in. Then, to make matters worse, she's holding onto my under my arm so that I couldn't run. Well, I could still run...in circles around her. And I would try and use my hands to block the hits. By then, my hands were in pain so I just left my butt to fend for its self.

5) you've ever had to pick your own switch or belt, and she sent you back if the switch or belt you got was to small.

I definitely remember this from being at my Bigma's house. She had this tree in her front yard and whenever you acted up, you had to go "get a switch off the tree." Of course, being a kid, I wanted the smallest switch possible. But then again, if the switch was too small, she would go outside and get an even bigger switch. So I was so darn confused. I tried to always get the bigger switch, though, so that she wouldn't be even more upset when it was time for my whoopin!

6) you ever got a whoopin in the car while your mom was driving....Reachin her hand back with a comb.

Now I never got to experience this one (*thank goodness*) but my momma and her sister did. My Grandma Nan was driving the car and I guess my mom and her sister were in the back seat fussing and fighting or something. My Grandma reached into the back seat (remember, she's driving the car) and smacked the heck out of my auntie.

7) she finds out that other kids are picking on you and she wants to bash them.

My momma would always tell me, "If somebody hit you, you betta hit them back."

8) by age 6 you believed that because she bought you into this world she could take you out.

I remember this happening to several of my friends. It's the momma motto (especially for black women)! You were always afraid, too, it's like, "oh crap, I'm going to get my butt beat today! Will I still be in this world tomorrow?" LOL

9) If you ever asked "why", she will tell you "because I said so !"

I came to believe that this what a good answer for everything. Boy, if a "why" question came up on a essay test, I would probably put "Because I said so!" and let that be the end of it.

10) instead of giving you a time to be home she says "and you betta be in this house before the street lights come on."

I remember being told this when I got in high school. I was never sure when exactly the lights would come on, so I would try and be home and soon as I could.

11) she just gives you "the look" and you start crying.

That's how it happened with me. After a while she didn't even need the belt anymore. She just looked at me and I was shaking in my shoes.
12) her cooking is beaten only by Grandma's.**I absolutely LOVE having a Black mother. She has helped me to become the woman that I am today.**

Don't You Eat?

2010-03-26T15:01:00.000-07:00

*Note: The bloggee just wanted to ramblee (aka ramble...I wanted to rhyme).

Okay, so I've noticed that some people think that skinny girls don't eat. Just because I only weigh 115 and I don't have your average black girl booty (it's all because of the scooter...see previous post) doesn't mean that I don't eat. You should see my daddy. He could probably eat a cow and not gain a pound. He got it from his daddy. I don't know WHY I got that gene, but I did. If you think I don't eat a lot, get me some hot dogs and I will whoop your butt in a hot dog eating contest. Bring it. If you give me some vegetables, you'll probably end up beating me, though.

I like to eat, therefore, of course I'm going to bring food to all of my classes. I have to wake up between 5:30-6:00am every morning. I'm too nauseous when I get up to want to eat then, so I wait until my 7:45 class. You can't teach a 7:45am or afternoon class without expecting people to bring food. Okay, so maybe I'm one of the only ones that brings food to class. Alright, so lately I've been bringing enough snacks for my whole table to eat because I was feeling a little guilty about eating in front of them (and then, of course I gotta feed their morning breath. WHOO! Anything to cover that up. Okay, so I'm totally kidding). Then, I started feeling guilty because I was only feeding my table and the other table was looking hungry, so I passed some food to them. Then, some more people were looking hungry, so I brought a bag of twizzlers. I tell ya, by the time by P.E. class was over, all of the twizzlers were gone (it's a good thing I didn't really like them. Those rainbow twizzlers companies really need to invest in a bag of sugar). Today, because we were having a final exam, I decided to wake up at 5:00am to make cupcakes. (Yes, I love my class that much...or rather, I just like to eat.) I made about 35 cupcakes, enough for everybody to just have one cupcake. There was some more leftover, but me and Andrew are going to use those to go around the apartment complex and say "hey" to people that we don't know. Anywho...the strawberry cupcakes had cream cheese icing and the yellow cupcakes had chocolate icing (I ended up not icing all of the cupcakes because I thought that maybe everyone didn't like icing. Psh...nobody touched the non-icing ones. Alright, so there were still some more cupcakes left and these boys in the hall were eye-balling them (hey single ladies! I just came up with an idea. Feed the fellas treats. Desserts are like pheromones to some guys. So there you go!) I ended up giving them each a cupcake. Of course, they went for the icing ones.

Man, if you put a plate of my Bigma's (for those of you who don't know...my Bigma is my great-grandmother) cooking in front of me, you wouldn't even know where the food went and how I got it there. I can put my Bigma's cooking away (meaning, I can seriously devour it).

*The point of this blog post? I don't know.

How to Get a Flat Butt

2010-03-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

So...it's been a long time since I last blogged. Life gets busy and there are always other things that I want to do. Like play poker! haha. Don't worry, don't worry, it's not real money. Whenever I get home from school, I most definitely am not usually interested in writing more! But, it does feel nice to take a breather and write out some things.

This semester has definitely been a great one. I had all A's for midterms and I'm sure that my final grades are going to be B's and above. Woot woot. Get it, Shae. haha. I'll tell ya, I've definitely been a class clown this semester. But, only in one of my classes--P.E. Methods. It's basically a P.E. class where the students teach. It's so quiet in that class, though, that of course my personality is going to shine through. So we were playing this game called scooter soccer the other day. And the scooter isn't the kind of scooter you have in mind. It's square with no handlebars or pole thingy out in front. Basically, you sit your butt on the square, which has four wheels beneath it, and you scoot yourself around using your legs and arms. You think that's fun? Psh, you try taking 3 laps around the gym sitting on a scooter. (And I don't know why, but it's only when people teach that they want to be a Drill Sergeant. Do they not know that this isn't boot camp?) Anywho, so two teams were on the field and I was a member of one of the teams (uh oh for them). The anticipation was running through my veins. I wanted to kick that ball and I wanted to kick it hard. Alright, so we are playing the game and nobody's winning. I'm down at the other team's goal trying to kick the ball into the "net" (basically two cones spread apart). I'm really anxious because I just want to be able to kick the ball. I try and take it from some people. I try to roll myself down the court with the ball between my knees so that no one can kick it. Do you know that they will beat the mess out of you to get to that ball?) Anywho, so I am down at the goal and my teammate kicks the ball to me. I do the logical thing. I get all excited that I'm going to make a goal, turn sideways, and do the soccer player sideways kick. Yeah, that only works if you're a professional NOT ON A SCOOTER. Boy, I thought I was going to make the shot. The ball didn't go ANYWHERE and I ended up falling flat on my butt. At another point, I am on my teams side of the line while the other team kicks the ball off. The other players rears back to kick the ball, so I put my legs up (BOTH of my legs) to block the ball. And I end up falling backwards off the scooter onto my butt. You can probably imagine how flat my tushi is now. You see that computer screen in front of you? Yep, my butt was pretty much that flat after class. I can tell you this, though, it was so nice to see the smiles on everyone's faces (sure, sure, they were saying that they were laughing with me, not at me. Trust me, if you saw me fall as much as I did, you would be laughing at me. I wouldn't be laughing. Okay, okay, maybe a little on the inside. But, my butt was crying on the outside. Ah, the joys of college life. Next up, swimming class next semester! They had better watch out because if I'm going under, I'm taking them with me.

Twas the night before HALLOWEEN

2009-11-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

We got to celebrate Halloween a bit early. Our Halloween was on October 30th, and boy was it busy. Fridays are usually my easy days. My class doesn't start til 3:15pm, so I have plenty of time to get stuff done around the house. The interesting thing is, Fridays seem to pass by at warp speed. Maybe it's because I always have so much to do. While Andrew was away (he leaves for work at 5:20am) I tried to do some of my online religion homework, but I got so excited about dressing up for Halloween. So, I started getting ready. It took about 2 hours to do my hair. I had to make sure that everything was right. Then, I got dressed and all that good stuff. I also baked two cakes for my Idaho Literacy class. I signed myself up for 2 days to bring treats. (Yeah, I know, I'm a sweetheart. haha.) Once Andrew got home, and I got out of class, we were really rushing. We had to be at South Fork Elementary school by 5pm. Well...we didn't actually have to be there at that time, but they were going to feed us if we showed up at that time.

After we got dressed, the end result was really nice. I was a diva and Andrew was the cookie monster. For Andrew, we died his hair blue and he wore a cookie monster shirt. It came in really handy because it served as a nice focal point get the kids to look in the direction of the camera. Speaking of camera, yep, that was our booth. At the carnival, us and 2 other girls took pictures of the kids. Me and Andrew worked at the pumpkin background, and the two girls worked at the skeleton background. It was a lot of fun seeing all the different costumes. Some of those kids looked really cute. All we did were take pictures and write down the kids' names and teachers, but afterwards we were all so exhausted. It was still pretty fun, though. There was this one lady (I think she was a parent), but she had the most original costume I'd seen all night. I'll just put the picture and maybe you can guess who she was. The carnival ended at about 8:30pm, and we think that they were going to get us to help them clean us, but we politely declined. We were a bit too tired.

After we left South Fork, me and Andrew went partying. It was a whole lot of fun...the first hour and a half was, at least. After that, it was way too crowded. I'm guessing there was about 300-400 people there by the time that we left. It also started to get a bit chaotic. The people that were hosting the party were giving away cash. They would set up a ladder in the center of the room, and throw the money. The first time was safe. But, the second time that they did it, it sucked. I happened to be in the way when they were coming through with the ladder and they gave no warning as to which way they were coming from. I basically got pushed, and Andrew had a big scratch on his arm. There was no way that I could get out of the center of the crowd if I wanted to. Those college students acted like they had never seen money. I'm not sure if anyone has seen the movie, Selena, before, but at one point the people in the audience were pushing others against the stage so that they could be closer to Selena. Some of the people were also getting smashed into the barricade. But, the people kept pushing. That's how the party got at that point. They were so money hungry. To make matters worse, I had a big bun in the back of my head, and I had a lot of bobby pins in it. Well...people were pushing against my head, and the bobby pins were digging into my scalp. I had to use all of the will power to not start punching people. WHOO! was it hard. I actually vented a little bit on the facebook group page for the party. Unfortunately, they deleted my post. I guess the truth really does hurt. After the incident, though, me and Andrew left the party. Those money hungry college students stole our enthusiasm. Anywho...overall it was a fun night.

GA Wedding Reception Pictures

2009-10-31T09:12:00.001-07:00

The reception in GA was held on July 29 in Cochran. I am actually from Macon, but I chose to do the reception in Cochran because I was there for a long time, and I really got to know the people in the ward really well.I think I had been a member for a year when I went to Cochran. I must say that it's the best family ward I've ever been in. So, it was only fitting to have the GA reception there. It was a small reception, but definitely very nice. I think the wedding planning was just as hectic, though. I will be honest...I am SO glad that all of that wedding chaos is over. I was joking (kinda) with a friend that I'm going to encourage my kids to elope. It's really the way to go. haha! At least I got one really good thing out of the GA reception--good ole Suthin' (Southern) food. Oh, and I can't forget about the fact that I got to spend time with my family and friends. Note: To the left is a picture of (L to R) my granma Nan, my mom, and my ma. I love all three of those wonderful women! Below are some more pics that our wonderful photographer--Elizabeth Boyd--took.

Health Update

2009-09-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Overview
So I'm pretty sure that everyone has heard the news that I'm sick all (or so it seems) the time. I talked to my doctor, and I'm pretty much a mystery to them. There's always something wrong with me, but they aren't ever sure what. And when they finally think they are sure, it's after at least $500 have come out of our pocket. This is a very frustrating and challenging time for me. I'm guessing that Heavenly Father really wants me to learn something from this experience--maybe that's why I'm so sick. I just really wish that things would get better. I am such a dependent person. I love to do things for myself; but, I'm finding that I have to depend more and more on people each year. My second semester here at school (May 2008), I was sick to the point where people had to carry me up and down the stairs to my apartment. I couldn't even walk by myself. Last semester (May-July), I was having a hard time walking then, too. I have been to the hospital twice in the past year and a half. I have been to the Student Health Center at least 50 times. At least $4000 have been spent on health alone. Things are just really challenging. I really want to keep pushing forward and trucking on. (What else can I do?) But, it's just so hard when there are no solutions. I'm so tired of crying, and being in pain. Everyone, just please keep in your prayers that I can get some answers really soon, and return to being a healthy girl.

The Problem
I've still got my nausea. I don't think that's going away at all. I like to joke with people that I have all the symptoms of pregnancy, except the baby. I will be honest, the nausea can sometimes be really crippling. There are times where I feel so sick that I can't eat much. As skinny as I am, I can;t afford to not eat. And oh how I love my meat! Whoo, I love to eat. It probably doesn't look like it since I am so small, though. But, at times, I can outdo Andrew in eating. Boo-yah! So when I'm not nauseous, my appetite is pretty ravenous (haha, I used a BIG word). But, most of the time, I don't eat much. Sometimes I go days with just one meal or a snack. Since my new symptom has shown up, my appetite has definitely decreased. When you're in pain, food is one of the last things on your mind. And I'm in pain 90% of each day.

The new pain is in my whole right arm. It extends from my fingertips to my shoulder. It's actually been spreading. In the beginning, it was just in my hand, and now it's in my neck, too. Sometimes my arm starts tingling and it goes really numb. Sometimes it goes cold and other times it gets really warm. I've tried shaking out the pain and massaging it....nothing. The doc gave me a shot last week to numb shoulder where the pain was the worse. He inserted novocaine into the muscle, hoping that it would help, but it made it worse. Yea, I'm definitely a mystery. I'm wondering if maybe something underlying is going on, and we just aren't looking in the right place. I'm tired of hearing "I don't know what to do" or "I don't know what's wrong". Right now the main thing I'm concerned about is the pain. It's really interfering with my life. Now I see why so many people get hooked on illegal drugs and even prescription drugs. When you're in pain so often, you don't care what you take as long as SOMETHING, ANYTHING stops the pain.

What Me and Others are Doing
Even though all of this stuff is going on, I try and keep a positive attitude. I am constantly looking for ways to serve. Maybe if I can serve someone else, I will forget about my own pain. Unfortunately, no one is giving me that opportunity right now because everyone is trying to serve ME. Compassionate service, at church, has gotten several people to come to my classes every day and take notes for me. It is such a big help. Also, last night the Relief Society President brought over dinner, after she saw that I was in a lot of pain after my music class. Everyone is helping in one way or another, and I am so appreciative of it.

Now bring on the big tests. That's the next stop. The doctor did the little stuff to eliminate those things, such as carpal tunnel, stress (if I wasn't stressed out BEFORE I got sick, I am now!), etc; and since they didn't help, we have to move on to other stuff. So today I go to the doctor, and I see what's next.

*Alrighty, I'm done rambling about my health. I just get asked so much about what's wrong with me that I thought I'd write it all out.

My Best Friend's Wedding

2009-07-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

This is a video from a really good movie called "My Best Friend's Wedding". If you haven't seen it, you've got to. The gist of it is When Julianne's best friend tells her that he met a woman and they are getting married in four days, she finds out that she loves him and wants him for herself. So, she sets out to break off the wedding, but things prove to be really difficult, since the bride seems to be "the perfect woman". Julianne even tells her best friend that she's engaged. (I can't remember why, though. It might have been to make him jealous.) The guy she becomes engaged to is a very close friend (the main guy singing in the video) of hers who happens to be gay. In this video, her gay friend is getting back at her by embarrassing her in front of her "love". We listened to this song about 15 times yesterday, so I decided to just put it on our blog. We're basically addicted to it. =) If only people would just randomly burst out in song in our lives...it'd be so much fun! Anywho...enjoy!

Proud to Be an American

2009-07-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

God Bless the U.S.A
by Lee Greenwood

And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I'll gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
'Cause their ain't no doubt I love this land.
God bless the U.S.A.
Andrew and I left Rexburg at about 6:10pm to go to a close town called I.F. (or Idaho Falls for all you non-Idahodians... it's about 30 minutes away from where we live). We weren't sure exactly what time the fireworks started, but we wanted to get there early because last year we only caught the last 10-15 minutes of the show, and we had to stand up. While we were driving to I.F., we heard on the radio that the fireworks show wasn't going to start til 10pm. And we got to I.F. at around 6:40pm. Anywho, when we got there, cars were EVERYWHERE. People had made their own parking spaces in the middle of the road, along the yellow divider line. It was crazy. We didn't expect so many people to be there that early. Fortunately, we found parking, and it wasn't too much of a walk.
We didn't really know what else to do, so we went in watch a baseball game that was being held. It was a minor league game--the Idaho Falls Chukars (the mascot was some kind of bird) v. the Orem Owls. The game was pretty good. There were a few balls that left the stands and probably hit someone's car. There were stolen bases. Wild pitches. It was a really good game. And I didn't get hit by a baseball!

Us at the ball game getting cancer, especially me. (The sun was no joke!)

The field, where most people gathered to watch the fireworks, was pretty packed, too. It was a really great night, even though getting out of town was horrible. At least, we had each other. :)
In the pictures below, we were trying to keep our eyes open. It was dark outside, and the flash was so blinding! Andrew looks the silliest, though! I just look a little sleepy in the first pic.

The Loveseat

2009-07-02T10:55:00.001-07:00

First, a little bit of background. We've got a tiny apartment. We don't even have enough space for a dining room table. (There's not even a dining room.) And since we're newlyweds, we don't have much furniture. So, our living room had been a storage room. All of our suitcases and boxes were up there for everyone to see. But, I didn't care too much.

Anywho...yesterday, someone posted a bulletin on the school bulletin board about selling a couch, so we went to look at it. The couch cost $50, and it didn't look too bad, so we decided we'd get it. The girl said that her husband might be able to deliver it to us. (We couldn't get it to our apartment ourselves. I don't know if any of you have seen our car, but it's pretty small--a Honda Civic.) Unfortunately for me, I had already given the girl the $50 cause I thought that they'd be able to get it to us sooner. So we left the place with no couch and $50 less in our pockets. I was a little bit afraid that we'd get jipped. But, they got the loveseat to us, and our living room looks GREAT. Now we don't have to sit on the floor everytime the visiting/home teachers come over.

*Note: This is our first post. They're sure to get better. :)