Overview
So I'm pretty sure that everyone has heard the news that I'm sick all (or so it seems) the time. I talked to my doctor, and I'm pretty much a mystery to them. There's always something wrong with me, but they aren't ever sure what. And when they finally think they are sure, it's after at least $500 have come out of our pocket. This is a very frustrating and challenging time for me. I'm guessing that Heavenly Father really wants me to learn something from this experience--maybe that's why I'm so sick. I just really wish that things would get better. I am such a dependent person. I love to do things for myself; but, I'm finding that I have to depend more and more on people each year. My second semester here at school (May 2008), I was sick to the point where people had to carry me up and down the stairs to my apartment. I couldn't even walk by myself. Last semester (May-July), I was having a hard time walking then, too. I have been to the hospital twice in the past year and a half. I have been to the Student Health Center at least 50 times. At least $4000 have been spent on health alone. Things are just really challenging. I really want to keep pushing forward and trucking on. (What else can I do?) But, it's just so hard when there are no solutions. I'm so tired of crying, and being in pain. Everyone, just please keep in your prayers that I can get some answers really soon, and return to being a healthy girl.
The Problem
I've still got my nausea. I don't think that's going away at all. I like to joke with people that I have all the symptoms of pregnancy, except the baby. I will be honest, the nausea can sometimes be really crippling. There are times where I feel so sick that I can't eat much. As skinny as I am, I can;t afford to not eat. And oh how I love my meat! Whoo, I love to eat. It probably doesn't look like it since I am so small, though. But, at times, I can outdo Andrew in eating. Boo-yah! So when I'm not nauseous, my appetite is pretty ravenous (haha, I used a BIG word). But, most of the time, I don't eat much. Sometimes I go days with just one meal or a snack. Since my new symptom has shown up, my appetite has definitely decreased. When you're in pain, food is one of the last things on your mind. And I'm in pain 90% of each day.
The new pain is in my whole right arm. It extends from my fingertips to my shoulder. It's actually been spreading. In the beginning, it was just in my hand, and now it's in my neck, too. Sometimes my arm starts tingling and it goes really numb. Sometimes it goes cold and other times it gets really warm. I've tried shaking out the pain and massaging it....nothing. The doc gave me a shot last week to numb shoulder where the pain was the worse. He inserted novocaine into the muscle, hoping that it would help, but it made it worse. Yea, I'm definitely a mystery. I'm wondering if maybe something underlying is going on, and we just aren't looking in the right place. I'm tired of hearing "I don't know what to do" or "I don't know what's wrong". Right now the main thing I'm concerned about is the pain. It's really interfering with my life. Now I see why so many people get hooked on illegal drugs and even prescription drugs. When you're in pain so often, you don't care what you take as long as SOMETHING, ANYTHING stops the pain.
What Me and Others are Doing
Even though all of this stuff is going on, I try and keep a positive attitude. I am constantly looking for ways to serve. Maybe if I can serve someone else, I will forget about my own pain. Unfortunately, no one is giving me that opportunity right now because everyone is trying to serve ME. Compassionate service, at church, has gotten several people to come to my classes every day and take notes for me. It is such a big help. Also, last night the Relief Society President brought over dinner, after she saw that I was in a lot of pain after my music class. Everyone is helping in one way or another, and I am so appreciative of it.
Now bring on the big tests. That's the next stop. The doctor did the little stuff to eliminate those things, such as carpal tunnel, stress (if I wasn't stressed out BEFORE I got sick, I am now!), etc; and since they didn't help, we have to move on to other stuff. So today I go to the doctor, and I see what's next.
*Alrighty, I'm done rambling about my health. I just get asked so much about what's wrong with me that I thought I'd write it all out.
