Getting Out

Arizona summers are hot. I walk outside and my scalp starts to sweat. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't so dang dry. No matter how much water I drink, it seems like my tongue and throat never get wet. What is up with that?

With it being so hot, I haven't wanted to take KJ outside. That little guy gets heavy after holding him for a while. And I couldn't just put him down on the ground outside because that's a sure way to turn his tushy brown. Let's just stick with the caramel color. But now, he can hold his own weight! YAY! Since he's walking, I decided that we could spend more time outside. He was so happy about it! We stayed out there for about 30 minutes and he walked around a ton. His favorite part was the rocks! We even went into the lounge and the manager let him play on the piano.

With the picture below, I said, "Don't put that rock in your mouth, Kayson." He looked up at me like "Yeah right, Mom" and did it anyway. haha!

Playing with his shadow

Trying to run!

By the time we got back into the apartment, he was covered in sweat from head to toe. He let me know that he wanted chi chi, but I decided to give something else a try. I took him to his room, laid him down in his crib, and rubbed his stomach for a few second. Then, I turned on his little music box. The music box has NEVER worked in the past. Usually as soon as I leave the room, Kayson will start crying because he doesn't like to be left alone. Not this time. I left the room and there was silence in there except for the music. After about 3 minutes, he started babbling and I figured he'd start crying really soon. 5 minutes later...silence. I peeked into his room and he was out cold. He slept for 1.5 hours! I was beyond shocked. When he woke up, he didn't even want chi chi! He just wanted me to hold him!

We had some lunch, I packed up some things, and then we went outside again. This time we were out there for less time because it was really fricken hot. He wanted to play with the rocks, but they didn't want to play with him apparently. He quickly realized that I wasn't lying when I said that the thing he was about to touch was "hot." He did figure out that the rocks and pavement was a lot cooler in the shade so he played over there. We just got back into the apartment about 45 minutes ago. He played some more and then he came to me again wanting chi chi. Again, I decided to just put him in his crib and turn the music on. And guess what he's doing right now. Yep, my baby's toddler's asleep. And he did it all by himself. Wow...he's really growing up. And I feel like I need a hug.

Dear Kayson

My sweet little boy, I love you so much. It's been a great year to watch you grow and learn. You used to hate laying on your stomach for tummy time. Now you are walking all over the apartment with determined steps. If you fall down, you immediately get back up. If you get hurt, you cry and turn to me or Daddy to comfort you, but you never give up and you always get down from our arms to try again. You used to make faces at baby food and now you sit in your booster seat and feed yourself. Bath time wasn't your favorite when you were first born, but now you stand and smile as Daddy bathes you. You've moved from cooing to saying simple words like "water," "ball," and "cup."

I can still clearly remember when the doctor walked into a room and told me that I was pregnant. I was so speechless and ecstatic. I can remember when I told the news to Daddy when he came home. His facial expression was priceless. We were so excited to meet you. I can still remember when I first felt you move. I was sitting in church and I felt a small flutter. Over the next weeks, that flutter became stronger and stronger. Sometimes Daddy and I would just sit and watch as my stomach moved from side to side. 

I remember when the doctors pulled you out of me and you let out a cry. It was such a beautiful sound. Once they cleaned you up, Daddy brought you over to me and I kissed your cheek. In the hospital room, I counted your fingers and toes and played with your dark black hair. I was amazed that you had been living inside of me. I remember when it was time to go home. Your Daddy and I were so unsure. "Are they really going to let us go home with this little baby?" we thought. It's been a learning experience for all of us. I wouldn't have it any other way. 

"I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be."

I love you, baby boy. 

Mommy

One Year Old

(I had a really long post, but Blogger deleted it. How annoying!)

Foods: Last week, he ate a tomato and a peach on the same day! This is really unusual because he's not a big fan of fruit. Most times he refused to eat it. He's a meat and pasta eater!

Surprises: This little guy knows how to unfasten his diaper! Because of that, we try to make sure that we keep a onesie on him at all times!

He also likes to eat my Vaseline!  I use it to put on my chapped lips. I guess after months of watching me dip my finger into the container and apply it to my lips with an open mouth, Kayson thought that it was something to eat. I have to keep the Vaseline waayyyy up high, otherwise he'll pry the lid open and go to town!

Words: Mama (he's been saying it for a while, but now he's saying it more), cup, water, ball, book

Talents:

• Can walk at least 20 steps before falling 
• An excellent hide and seek player
• Brushes his teeth all by himself
• Sits down and "reads" his books
• Uses the remote to control the tv (he hasn't discovered that he can push the buttons on the tv because he never sees us use them)
• Is the cutest little boy in the world! That's a pretty tough job!
• Loves to tote around his Dad's shoes
• Has a 7 tooth breaking through on the bottom 
• Turns light switches "off"
• Gives REALLY big "arms wrapped around your neck" hugs

 

"I Can Be Your Hero, Baby"

For some reason, that song by Enrique Iglesias just popped into my head. I can't remember if it's a new song or old song...Anyway, it seems appropriate because lately I've been trying to figure out my purpose in life. I know that I'm supposed to be a mom (even if I wasn't, I am now, and I wouldn't change it for the world!). Since Andrew and I have been shopping with coupons, we've been saving a ton of money. I will admit, though, sometimes the looks that people give me when I'm using coupons is a bit unnerving. Couponing has gotten such a bad rap. I'm just trying to save money for my family...if there is a route where I don't have to pay full price for things, then of course of I'm going to take it.

The women on the Cents'Able Shoppin facebook page have been an inspiration to me. Some of them spend a majority of their day gathering donations and shopping at stores to help others. I want to do that, too. With our little stockpile, we've got enough toothpaste, body wash, deodorant and a few other things to last about a year. Still, though, coupons keep coming out for these things that make them really freap (free or cheap). So I've decided to start donating some things.

Every now and then, I'll see people sitting outside of Walgreens or standing on a busy street corner needing some help because life has perhaps taken a wrong turn. I've decided to put together a little survival kit for when I come across them. So far, I've got some of the basics in them, but I still need to go out and get some more deodorant (which is on sale for .49 each this week! Ahh!!) and some ravors and things like that. I also put some snacks in there. I want to put some granola type bars in there, too, but I'm afraid that if I leave the little kits in the car in the Arizona heat, they'll melt! I need to find a solution to that...) I also want to donate stuff to shelters. How to do that, though, I'm still trying to figure it out.

But maybe this is my calling in life--to help others. There have been plenty of people who have helped me in my life. I remember when we were still living in Rexburg and I was going through so many health problems, the people at church helped out so much. I had people come to my classes to take notes for me when I had a pinched nerve; a very amazing and sweet woman come over and clean up my kitchen and living room, and countless meals brought over when I was on bedrest and after delivery. These ladies were and still are heroes to me. Now I've been blessed with the opportunity to bless the lives of others.

It feels so great to have another purpose in life. Now I just need to get to work!

To Be a Mother and a Wife

A few weeks ago, I was feeling really down. Life was just so overwhelming. I was tired, I felt alone, and things did not appear to be getting any better. It was almost like I had been hit with postpartum depression 9 months after I had Kayson. I had called Andrew on his cellphone while he was at work and I just cried and cried and cried. I couldn't understand why I was hurting so much. Andrew had done nothing wrong. He shows me so much love...more love than I had experienced in the years before I met him.

I think maybe I was beating myself up inside. I expected so much from myself. I wanted to be more than a stay at home mom (oh great, now I'm crying.). I wanted to go out and work so that we could have an amazing home to live. I wanted to have nice furniture. I had tried so hard to make our home look clean, but it seemed that by the end of the day it was messy again. I wanted to cook incredible meals every day instead of going out to get fast food because I was too tired to cook.

But...you know what I realize? I'm not perfect. I am FAR from it. There are talents that I do not have. It's okay, though. The talents that I do have are good enough. I can make people laugh. I am a good listener. Yeah, I don't feel like cooking every day. It's too dang hot out here in Arizona to be standing in that kitchen all the day. It's not the worst thing in the world if we go out and get fast food.

A little while ago, I was reading a talk from General Conference by President Hinckley titled, "To the Women of the Church." It's a beautiful talk. I truly love it. Before are some of the beautiful words that he shared.

"You are doing the best you can, and that best results in good to yourself and to others. Do not nag yourself with a sense of failure. Get on your knees and ask for the blessings of the Lord; then stand on your feet and do what you are asked to do. Then leave the matter in the hands of the Lord. You will discover that you have accomplished something beyond price."

"Life is never a failure until we call it such."

"How blessed you are, my dear young mothers. You have children who will be yours forever."

"Count your blessings; name them one by one. You don’t need a great big mansion of a house with an all-consuming mortgage that goes on forever. You do need a comfortable and pleasant home where love abides. Someone has said that there is no more beautiful picture than that of a good woman cooking a meal for those she loves. Weigh carefully that which you do. You do not need some of the extravagances that working outside the home might bring."

"Pray silently in your closet, and let the tears flow if they must come. But put a smile on your face whenever you are before your children or others."

It's easy to look at others and think, "Man, I wish I had a life like that," but we really don't know what trials they are walking through. It's best to just enjoy the life we have. We don't have live life perfectly...but we should live it to the fullest because we don't get another chance. This is it.

My Little Walker

 

 (Sorry that the video is sideways. I couldn't figure out how to rotate it.)

For a few weeks now, KJ has been standing by himself and taking a few practice steps. He had also been trying to figure out how to stand up from the squatting position without using an object to do so. It was so cute to watch him with his butt in the air and his hands and feet flat on the floor. I love it!

On Saturday, I was sitting on the couch watching Friends while Andrew was getting the oil changed and tires rotated at the car place. KJ had been standing up near me. All of a sudden, he started taking small steps toward the tv. I was so amazed and so excited for him! I tried to quietly get my camera out because of course he doesn't want to walk when he sees the camera!

As I lay on the floor at my in-laws' home on Sunday evening, I watched Kayson as he stood up by himself and started walking around a little bit. I was caught between crying and giddiness. My throat tightened with emotion, but I had a big smile on my face too. He's grown up so fast. Two weeks from being one year old.

Beauty's Only Skin Deep

Most women (and girls, too) like to look good. There's no denying that. One thing that a lot of women have in common is concern with weight. So often I get the comment, "Shae, you look good. Now I could stand to lose a few pounds." I haven't always been comfortable with my weight. I mean...I worry that I'm too thin. I've always struggled to gain weight. I tried so hard, but no matter how much I eat I couldn't get over 120. That's why I was so excited to be pregnant and to see the number on the scale go from 115 to 160! It was comforting. I liked having a bit of meat on my bones. I like making jokes like, "I just had a HUGE dinner. Can you tell?!" Maybe it's because I wish people would say, "Yeah...I can tell." It would not make me uncomfortable in the least bit. It would be a compliment to me actually. I know, I sound a little backwards, but that's how it is with me.

Now the thing that I do struggle with, and I'm really self-conscious about it, is my skin. Man, since I've been in the west I've got scars galore. ALL over my face. I guess I never had a problem with it in Georgia because of the humidity. Out here, though, it is dry dry DRY. No matter how much I lotion my skin and grease my scalp, it doesn't seem to be enough. Sometimes I see these African women who are two shades darker than I am and disappear in the dark, and I am so envious! It's mainly because then you can't see any scars on them.

I was thinking about doing microdermabrasion, but...it's a little out of our price range for now. Until we are out of student debt, I guess I'll just have to use make up to hide them.

Everyone has different things that their struggling with. But hey, I've got a wonderful husband who tells me that I'm beautiful every single day and a baby boy who still gives me tons of kisses and slobbers all over my scars. What more can a girl ask for?!