Most women (and girls, too) like to look good. There's no denying that. One thing that a lot of women have in common is concern with weight. So often I get the comment, "Shae, you look good. Now I could stand to lose a few pounds." I haven't always been comfortable with my weight. I mean...I worry that I'm too thin. I've always struggled to gain weight. I tried so hard, but no matter how much I eat I couldn't get over 120. That's why I was so excited to be pregnant and to see the number on the scale go from 115 to 160! It was comforting. I liked having a bit of meat on my bones. I like making jokes like, "I just had a HUGE dinner. Can you tell?!" Maybe it's because I wish people would say, "Yeah...I can tell." It would not make me uncomfortable in the least bit. It would be a compliment to me actually. I know, I sound a little backwards, but that's how it is with me.
Now the thing that I do struggle with, and I'm really self-conscious about it, is my skin. Man, since I've been in the west I've got scars galore. ALL over my face. I guess I never had a problem with it in Georgia because of the humidity. Out here, though, it is dry dry DRY. No matter how much I lotion my skin and grease my scalp, it doesn't seem to be enough. Sometimes I see these African women who are two shades darker than I am and disappear in the dark, and I am so envious! It's mainly because then you can't see any scars on them.
I was thinking about doing microdermabrasion, but...it's a little out of our price range for now. Until we are out of student debt, I guess I'll just have to use make up to hide them.
Everyone has different things that their struggling with. But hey, I've got a wonderful husband who tells me that I'm beautiful every single day and a baby boy who still gives me tons of kisses and slobbers all over my scars. What more can a girl ask for?!
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